I ramble...

I was starting to wonder if I could ever blog again and it not be about Africa and I'm beginning to realize I may never blog the same. It may not always be about that experience but things seem sweeter now. More meaning, less clutter; it's like God magnified my life and now I only want to see what really matters. There were two experiences I haven't yet shared with you. I wanted the last post to be an over view of the safari weekend, but there are two moments in my mind that I can't shake.

On our first night on the safari we had our surprise bush dinner. Afterwards our group was headed back to the lodge, except we didn't go directly there. We were driving down some bumpy path and I shined my flash light out on the land and saw eyes light up! I'm not so sure if I freaked out as much as I excitedly shouted to Steven(our driver) "I SEE EYES TO THE RIGHT!" and before I knew what I'd said we had peeled that direction towards the EYES! We drove all through the bush as I shined my light and kept shouting "eyes! eyes! eyes!" Eventually we ended up in a wide open plain...just us and the eyes. Steven turned off the rover, we turned off all lights, and we sat. We sat in silence amongst the wildlife. Even though we could no longer see them we knew they were there and we knew they weren't a threat. We were existing peacefully together. I popped my head out the "window" and despite a full moon I could still see every star in the vast sky. So much silence and awe in that moment between all of us. I've never felt more in touch with God's creation as I had in that moment. It made me think of Habakkuk 2:20 "The Lord is in his holy temple; let all the earth be silent before him." I can say with confidence that no one who experience that kind of tranquility can forget it. I find myself wanting a place like that of my very own that I can just go sit. We talked about that night for awhile; I couldn't thank Steven enough for allowing us to experience that.

The second experience was when Kari and I went to play with all the kids. One thing you have to know about these kids is they're fascinated with our technology. I had cameras, watches, phones, ipods all up on me and they were loving it! They want you to take "snaps" of them constantly so I did! Amidst the chaos of the photo taking one of the boys (Brian aka Obama) said he liked American worship. It kind of stopped us in our tracks. Ok, Obama, where are you going with this?...he then started singing me some songs asking if I knew them. Some I did, some I didn't. Then I pulled out my handy dandy iPhone (they were like the little aliens on Toy Story "oohh aahh!"). I said, "Who knows 'Amazing Grace?'"...of course they did. I started to play Sufjan Stevens version of it and they started humming along. Within a few seconds we were all singing it together. We all knew the words, we all knew the meaning. I couldn't help but think God had brought two nations together in that second to praise Him. ("He says, 'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalms 46:10) As I towered over the little kids while we sang I could see all the old houses, clothes lines, green hills, muddy trails, and pillars of smoke as families made dinner. That doesn't happen here. Or maybe and does and I just haven't looked for it. All they wanted to do was sing more "American Christian songs" ha. I loved that afternoon.

Tonight Kara and I went to church at Crosspoint. Seeing as how it is the week of Thanksgiving we talked about being thankful. This seems pretty normal, that's usually what we talk about in November; however, this time it took on different meaning. There is certainly poverty in America and I realize I'm a minority in the grand scheme of things when it comes to possessions. I know that a mile from my condo there are children living "below the poverty line" so trust that that's not lost on me. But somehow, when you're in a different culture and you meet people who live in huts made of cow dung, and still praise God for his provision, you're taken back. When you meet people whose earthly purpose is to pick tea leaves but they can't because of an illness that was brought on by lack of health care...when you meet people who thank you for your service because they don't feel ENTITLED to it...when you eat rice and beans for every meal....when you lose a life of a patient over something you take so for granted back home.....you're humbled. You're thankful. You're convicted. We do not deserve one single possession of ours. It's not even ours. God has allowed us this; He has given us this life and we are unworthy of it so the least we can do is give Him thanks. Praise him for is mercy on us.

Just before I went to church tonight I was on the phone with my mom and I was so rude to her. She's doing something so selfless by giving gifts to kids who won't get any for Christmas and she asked me what she should get. I got frustrated with her because I was in a hurry to get to church....hypocrite much? I ended the conversation abruptly and immediately knew I was being a brat. We all kinda suck sometimes but we have to recognize where we fall short and fix it. So, that's me being the first to tell you I'm all kinds of whacked out and human! This soap box is only to remind me (and you I suppose?) of how God calls us to live. He never said it would be easy to be a Christian but He did say it would be eternally worth it!! Loves yaaallllll. holla.

Experience of a Lifetime!

It's been a while since I updated! That's mostly due to lack of internet access, sleep, time, and american outlets to charge my computer! Saturday morning eleven of us from our group got up early and headed about 2 hours south-ish(they never knew what direction, they just knew which direction to point to) to the Massai Mara reserve! We arrived at Ngerende lodge by noon and were greeted by their staff and the Massai tribe men! That was quite the surprise. They welcomed us with an interesting dance and chant and made us join in.

After some chanting and dancing we went to our "tents". They. were. awesome! There was 7 tents and each one overlooked the Mara River which was FULL of hippos! They would hang out in the river all day then when it got dark they traveled out of the river to the plains to eat. We would wake up in the morning to hear the hippos splashing and grunting in the water. After we settled in we ate an amazing lunch outside and headed out on our first safari. 

The first game-drive did not disappoint! We saw zebras, impalas, water buffalos, gazelles, and giraffes! The giraffes were by far the coolest and we were even lucky enough to catch some roaming across a field at sunset.

The first wildlife we saw up close!

As we were driving up we spotted some more giraffes walking across the plains.

   

A sunset shot. We actually got really close up to them but I loved this shot!

After we got back to the lodge they took us to a surprise "bush dinner" where the chef, Isaac, made us a traditional Massai barbeque dinner which consisted of a lot of lamb! I discovered some of the meat lacks some taste b/c I'm so used to marinating everything but it was still pretty awesome!

The following morning Kari, Mary and Michael Taylor, and I got up at 330am (we'd only finally gotten in bed at midnight) to catch a ride to our sunrise balloon ride! We drove another 2 hours through plains, over a river, and down rocky mountains through the pitch black morning until we came up on a large field being lit up by our hot air balloon! We quickly hopped in the basket and our pilot, Peter, took us about 20 miles through the Massai Mara park and into the Serengeti plains! I can't even tell you how unbelievably beautiful the sunrise over the vast land was!
As our 1 hour long ride came to an end it was time to land. Due to winds and lots of termite hills it made for a difficult landed so we crashed...I think Peter was embarrassed but we all decided we wouldn't have had it any other way; it was pretty funny. Once we landed we walked about 5 yards to where they had set up breakfast for us. A chef served us pancakes, waffles, sausage, potatoes, fruits, bread, and even mimosas! The four of us plus Matthew (our driver got a free ride; he loved it) sat there and ate our breakfast with the elephants behind us and took it all in. I'm not sure I've yet to comprehend how beautiful this was. Certainly a once in a lifetime opportunity.

An African sunrise.

Breakfast in the Serengeti? Don't mind if we do.

After breakfast our drivers Lazarus and Matthew took us on an impromptu safari. We came within 10 yards of elephants and even saw about a 4 day old elephant. This was one of the highlights of this trip. We saw baboons and our one and only rhino sighting. After this we came upon a Massai village and Lazarus felt we had to visit so we did! I'm so so glad we did. It is absolutely CRAZY the way these people live. The women of the tribe welcomed us with another tribal dance and chant. We met the chief and two of his nephews(they consider themselves brothers but I informed them they were his nephews; they didn't understand ha) showed us around the village. We went inside on of the huts which were made of cow dung and mud. The woman make the huts, slaughter the meat, take care of the children, and make all the crafts they sell. The men just protect...Basically, being a Massai woman does not sound fun. These people eat only meat (not wildlife; just the animals they raise) and even drink the cow blood. Nasstyyy. They live as polygamists and each man has so many cows that he uses to "buy" their wives. Cattle is their means of food and a symbol of their wealth. The chief bought his first wife for 15 cows (typically it starts at 5) and then bought 5 more wives. Their village is made in a circle and each wife has their own hut that houses themselves and their children. The man of the family rotates each night which wife he sleeps with. Every night they fill the front part of he hut with small lamb and goats and in the center of the village they fill it with 200-400 cows! They use them as protection. If a lion came in the night the animals would not only be alarmed and wake the family but they would eat the animals first and not be hungry once they got to the family. Crazy but smart! After we toured around their village they took us to where they sell all the crafts the women make. I bought a few things. This was a super eye opening experience. I would never and could never live this lifestyle but I was so impressed with how they live and survive.

Got so close to this guy! We drove off quickly once he turned and looked like he may head right for our car...

Elephant crossing. This little guy was only a few days old!

In the village and in front of their view! That's a pretty nice front yard.

The Chief of the village. 

 Our welcome from the Massai women. All were married and all had lots of kids!

One of the chief's wives huts! We got to go inside. Very small, smelly, and full of flies.

Little girl in front of her hut. I said "Jambo!" and she smile big and waved.

We eventually got back to the lodge, took a short nap, showered, and met the rest of the group to eat and go on another safari. This was game drive when we finished seeing the "Big 5". The big 5 consists of lions, elephants, rhinos, buffalos, and leopards! At this point we'd seen elephants, a rhino, buffalos, and one female lion. I was ready to see some big male lions and leopards! Honestly, I was most excited about the leopard...just ask Mary. I freaked out when we finally saw one and she pretty much made fun of me all night. We actually got to see a pride of lions and the later we found two male lions just snoozing in the bush. Our game drive had come to an end and we were heading back to the lodge in the dark. We were driving through some bushes and turned a corner and a leopard popped right out in front of us! He was just as startled by us as we were by him! I'd pretty much told myself I wasn't going to get to see one and then there he was! Unfortunately, it was so dark I could't get a picture, but I promise I'm not lying! 

Lion pride. There were two moms and 6 little ones! They didn't mind us at all!

Two males we came across later in the day. We were stoked to find them!

We saw lots of other fun animals too like jackals, hyenas, dikdiks, warthogs (pumba!), meerkat looking things, and many many others. The following morning I elected to sleep and pack before we left rather than going on the morning safari. A lot of other people did, too. After a long week at the hospital and constantly going at the safari I need rest. I slept about 7.5 hrs which was the most I'd slept the whole time. It was much needed b/c Kari and I had a long two days of travel ahead of us.

We were in two land rover things. This is the second group going through some crazy terrains!

This was our drive the Ngerende. We saw these kids running through the field in the distance just to wave to us as we passed. The love "white people" haha

The view on our drive to Negerende. This is Bomet, right next to Tenwek. It's beautiful. 

On Monday we drove back to Tenwek and surprised Whitney, Lisa, and Leah (three of our nurse friends who came for the second week of surgeries). We got to hang out and eat some lunch with them before driving back to Nairobi to catch our flight. We drove a total of 6 hours, then had 3 flights. The first one to Amsterdam was 8 hrs. We had a 5 hours layover then got on a 10 hr plane ride to Atlanta. There we had a 3 hour layover and had to go back through customs and recheck our bags. Then about an hour flight to Nashville. We arrived home at 550pm which was 250am tenwek time. All that travel and only cat naps on the plane made us sleepy and jet lagged! I was greeted by my wonderful parents at the airport and came home to a clean condo and two of my best friends, Kara and Mary Hunter, surprised me with balloons, a sweet card, ice cream and BELLA!! I really miss everyone at Tenwek and wish I was there to care for this little ones they are operating on this week but I really loved my shower and my 15hr slumber! Please continue to pray for those still in Kenya doing surgeries. The nurses leave on Sunday I think and will be exhausted. Kristen B and Rebekah especially have worked like crazy. Pray for them as they've worked 12 hour shifts every day since last monday. Pray for Leah, Whitney, and Lisa also as they work long hours and wrap up the last few days of surgery. So proud and happy to be a part of this team. Thanks everyone for loving on us!!!

All work, now play!

This week in the unit has come to an end for me. I worked my last day today. I loved it so much I didn't want to leave! This week has been full of contrasts and it has ended on such a happy note. We are seeing the brightest personalities out of our patients. Unfortunately, they do not love the camera as much as we do so it may not come across in pictures! They're so grateful but I don't think they realize how grateful we are of them. Each one of them taught us something. Some are more reserved than others but even the slightest head nod or thumbs up just makes me smile b/c I know they are ok! It's so amazing to hear these families tell us how changed their loved one is. Kip, in particular, was a whole new boy! His parents couldn't stop telling us that! His father kept repeating "strong boy. strong boy!" to me. It's amazing what God is able to do through these surgeons and these doctors to treat them, and each one of them is incredibly compassionate towards each patient. Before each surgery they pray over them and afterwards they are right there in the unit checking on them. Dr. Fingleton(the surgeon) is an awesome man and surgeon. He was very encouraging and supportive of the nursing staff all weekend. It really does make a difference when you know you have the support of your surgeons/doctors.

Today little Kip and Caroline peaced out to the floors b/c they were doing super awesome. I didn't get a chance to visit Caroline again and when I got to go check on Kip I couldn't find him! Word on the street is he's been soaking up some rays as much as possible. Hopefully, I can go see Caroline before I leave tomorrow. I'd love to give her one last hug and pray with her. And I can only hope she's got that turban on while jammin on her flute! I bet the ladies in the ward next to her love it.

The Beaute had a rough day. She seemed more alert this morning and even clapped as if to applaud herself for eating her lunch; however, afterwards, she seemed down. Kristen B and I sat with her for a while. I asked her some questions and didn't get many responses but when I asked if she was sad she responded "yes" and looked down. This hurt my heart. I asked if she wanted to go home and she said "yes" again. She is a long way from home and her family. Please pray for Beauty's spirits to be lifted. Later in the day we sent her to a "step down" type floor b/c we still considered her to be high maintenance though she didn't require ICU treatment. She didn't last very long there. She came back tonight about 9 b/c she was dropping her sats (o2 levels). Turns out her nasal cannula just wasn't hooked up, but it was a blessing in disguise. Mary felt that despite the mishap she just seemed too lethargic and brought her back to be with us. After some discussion we decided to get some labs(we have to get labs very scarcely here) and turns out her pcv was 15 and her hgb was 5. For those of you none medical folk, that's LOW!! She needed about 3 units of blood(a lot). I pray she gets to feeling better very soon! She needs to get home to her son and husband in Zimbabwe!

The other two ladies rounding out our fun unit are Eunice and Teresia. Eunice kind of has a special place in my heart after tonight. She is the one who was in the OR from 8-4 yesterday and had 3 of her valves jacked up! She's a sleepy girl but when she's up she makes me laugh. She loves to sing and play her flute. Tonight she hollered at me b/c she had to "make water" aka pee. So, like I always do, I stood her up then sat her back down on the bed pan...problem was, I did not have time to remove my left hand from under her rump. Yea...that was fun for everyone! Fortunately I used my brute strength to force my hand out from under her behind without getting watered on. After she made water she stood up, I removed the pan, and she sat back on the ledge of the bed. I squatted down in front of her and looked up at her and said "Eunice. Are you ok?" She wrapped her skinny arms around my neck and laid her head on my shoulder. I took that as either 1) I'm exhausted 2) I'm going to strangle you if you don't stop talking to me woman or 3) I'm not ok. I let her rest on me for a little while and put my arm around her. We sat in silence for a second then I asked if she was ok again. She looked up and she had started to cry. Now, if you know one thing about these people know they are STRONG. They do not complain, they do not cry, they are raised to persevere.  I knew she was in pain. She pointed to her chest as to say it was hurting. I gave her some medicine and told her to "lala" aka sleep in swalihi. When I left she was sound asleep. I think she felt better!

Teresia, on the other hand, is a silent comedian. She mostly uses facial expressions to communicate and is more concerned with the other patients than herself...especially Eunice. Someone told me their families waited in line at the clinic together so they became friends. If Eunice did something then Teresia had to do it, too! The Kenyan nurses said that she was always asking how her friend was. What a sweet soul!

Jahosephet(not sure how to spell it, I just call him JoJo) was our first surgery today. He is a stud! The boy was extubated in the OR and laughing! We were about to transfer him from the OR bed to the ICU bed and he turned his head and looked at me so I waved and he started laughing. I was so confused I thought he might be crying but now he was a little dopey. Forty-five minutes post up he was sitting up in bed using his party blower! He got a little less giddy later on a started snoozing. When he woke I took the chance to get him a new hat and futbol! When he saw the futbol his eyes lit up and he reached out for it! These people love the sport! They know what's up! JoJo will be up and out in no time. So cool!

They will be doing one more case tomorrow but I'll be headed out on an adventure! Pray all goes well as we will be a little short staffed. Kristen B and Rebekah (our veteran rock star nurses) will be manning the fort solo. While they stay to welcome in another group of doctors and nurses (what up Whitney and Lisa!) the rest of us will be headed to a weekend safari. I'm pretty sure it's illegal to come to Africa and NOT go on a safari. I'm excited to go explore and see somethings I only see once a year when the new Earth series movies come out in theaters on April 22. Yea, I'm a dork. I'll take more than enough pictures and make you all look at them!

Russ doing work!

The new valve!

Russ putting the valve in!

Me and Kari!

JoJo fell asleep with his soccer ball in hand, suck in mouth, and hat on head!

As excited a I am to see some Zebras I am sad to leave these people and this place. Tenwek's statement is "We treat, Jesus heals" and how true that is. Without Him none of this is possible. He brought each of these patients to us at this time for a reason. We may not understand why some things turned out the way they did but we trust Him and we find comfort in Him. I'll never forget these patients and look forward to making new friends here next year! This place will change you if you let it and I think it's safe to say we have all let it. :)

Holy Blog Batman!

I got to visit the school today! The kids wanted to send all my friends back in the states (especially you southerners) a message!!

Things are going AWESOME today! Praise God for that! I've been working the dayshift with Kristen B and Nez showed up around 12pm to relieve us to eat and lend a hand. The unit has 4 patients right now. Duncan went to the "floor". Before he left we asked him how he felt and he said "not good". Later, Agneta (one of the Tenwek surgical residents) said when she went to visit him on the floor she found out he only said that b/c he didn't want to leave us b/c we take good care of him. He was a funny dude. We took him his "hope for hearts" tshirt and he said "I will look very good in this" in his broken english. He's a great success story and I'm so happy he's doing well. Right now we have Caroline, Kip aka Smiles, Beauty aka The Beaut and Eunise chilling with us.

Kip is a 15 year old who weighs about 70 lbs. He came into our clinic on Sunday in terrible shape. He was weak, out of breath, and couldn't even lay down to get his echo. They had to do it sitting up. He desperately needed a mitral valve replacement. Just before he went to surgery he arrested and the team contemplated not going on with the surgery b/c the risk was too high. They decided he would not survive without surgery so they had to at least try. He not only made it through surgery but he's been our quickest recovery! He's not even 24hrs post op and he's up in a chair, off his oxygen, smiling while listening to NeedToBreathe on Kristen's iPod, and ready to go play futbol! He's our miracle boy :)

Caroline is 28yrs old. She had surgery yesterday and I believe she only had a mitral valve repair. She was extubated quickly and was immediately asking for "maji" or "water"! She coughed like a champ and guzzled water. Today, she is up in a chair. She asked us for a turban so Kristen gave her a surgical hat. I'm not sure if it's a cultural thing or she just wanted to look like all of us with our surgical hats on. She definitely says some funny things. She told us she can't wait to work on her family's tea farm; she was too tired to do it before. Made my heart happy. She is currently blowing on her flute (good for her lungs) and singing "God Bless You" to us. We love her!!

Beauty is quite the beast. She is from Zimbabwe! She's a funny character. Very flat affect but occasionally cracks a smile...usually when Kristen asks her if she thinks we're crazy. She nods her head and smiles at us. Beauty wins the award for must dedicated to her party blower to get those lungs working. She fell asleep sitting up with it in her mouth. She is still a bit weak and is taking some time to come around, but it is to be expected. She had a complicated surgery and a ton of bleeding post op so considering that she looks beautiful ;)

Eunice is a surgery from today. She was in the OR from 8am to 4pm. Long day for her! She had a mitral valve replacement, aortic valve repair, and tricuspid valve repair and is doing pretty well. Some small hiccups but considering how sick she was pre-op she looks good. I'm excited for her to get well so we can hear her story!

It's about 8pm here and they started another case a little bit ago. Kari and Kristen D will be on the night shift so pray all goes well!

Last night I got to hang out with the team some and do a small devotional. It was much needed and God knew exactly what we all needed to hear. I haven't shared this with you all yet but the morning after we lost Roger, Kristen and I were walking out of breakfast and ran into Mary Taylo. She had run up to shower and read a small devo after our nightshift before she had to head to the clinic(she pulls like 48hr shifts, no joke. She's unbelievable!). This was a small piece of her devotional after our bad night:


This morning I was reading my bible and opened to Ephesians 3 and 4. A couple verses really stood out to me in relation to this entire trip.

"To me, who am less than the least of all the saints, this grace was given, that I should preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ." Ephesians 3:8

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be the glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen." Eph 3:20,21
One of our surgeons said this scripture came to his mind when he saw how well our miracle boy Kip was doing!!

"There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all." eph 4:4 We all serve the same God!

I mentioned earlier that I got to visit some kids at the school today...it was so great to see such young smiling faces. They certainly loved my camera...and my hair! My favorite part of today was singing "Amazing Grace" with the kids in the field. I loved every second of it. They love to sing. They wanted to hear our national anthem so I sucked it up and stood on the steps in front of all of them and sang my heart out. Then I made them sing me their national anthem! Fun times!

I'll leave you with some pictures! Thank you for loving on all of us. Things definitely are looking up from the start b/c of your prayers! Woo hoo!!!!

This is Caroline singing to us with her "turban" on. Not much emotion on the face but she was so sweet.

Our surgeons working away!

                  

Kip! 12hrs post op and look at that smile!

Kristen and I with The Beaut. She's always sleepy...

Cutie from the school!

Attack of the children!

This is Brian aka Obama. The first thing he said to me "so, how bad was hurricane Irene?" and then he asked Kari "How is the economy affecting you in Tennessee?" Yup, Obama sounds right.

Couldn't get enough of this kid!

Love yall!

Update

So after a much needed rest yesterday I woke to see all of your sweet messages that reminded me why I am here. I can't tell you how much it means to me to sign on facebook and see everyone praying for us and asking their friends who don't even know us to pray. After a very hard night/day you've lifted our spirits and we are trusting God more than ever. So, thanks!

An update on the other days events: Yesterday the surgeons and chief people had a meeting early on to discuss what happened. Turns out the entire hospital ran out of oxygen and then even out of our back up supply. They put all of the surgeries(not just ours) on hold until the problem was resolved. It saddens me to think Roger's passing could've been prevented but I was so comforted to know of his faith in Lord. His friends and family said they were at peace b/c he was a believer. After getting permission from the Kenyan gov't Roger was able to be buried in Bomet (right next to Tenwek). Unfortunately, despite their efforts to track down Kristen, Mary, and myself they couldn't find us to go to his funeral; I think we were still sleeping. Beth White (the head surgeons wife) said his burial was beautiful and he had two friends there which makes me happy. 

This last night was a long night with a lot of scares. They ended up doing a case around 2pm yest. SHe came up around midnight and bled and bled and bled. They only have PRBCs here so we just kept giving volume and she kept bleeding. We had to call the surgeon in around 3am and we discussed going back to the OR. Initially we were worried about giving any clotting meds b/c she has a mechanical valve now but after much discussion we decided to give her an amicar bolus and start an infusion. Two liters of chest tube output later it finally slowed down. I left around 830am and she was having more pressure issues but Kristen B and Kristen D took over and made me leave. I went home and slept a few hours and then came back to the unit around 4. Thank God, she was doing so much better! Still on epi and requiring boluses but we extubated successfully! They did two cases today. The first one, Caroline did AWESOME. She was extubated quickly and already coughing, talking, drinking! The second case will be coming out any minute. They forced me to go eat some dinner so I'll head back up soon to help. Oh, and Duncan's about to go to the floor. He's such a quiet and sweet old man! We call him Big D!

I really really thank you all for your support. The team really feels the love! And the people here are so generous. They cook all our meals and clean all our clothes. I don't really feel comfortable with them doing it all but they want to. They are a very different breed of people. In the hospital there is not always a lot of urgency and then we are running around like crazy people when we could really slow down so I think we balance each other out. Alice and Joyce are two tenwek nurses that are AWESOME! Alice was there the night Roger passed and she just jumped right in and helped us with some things. Joyce was with me last night and within 5 minutes of requesting something(like a pump cord, blood, pulse ox, etc) she was right there with it! They are so helpful b/c we are very out of our element!

Hopefully, I will get to go visit the orphanage soon. We've been so crazy it's been hard to get away but some time with those smiling faces will be much needed! I hope you are all having a good week back home. While we are here know that I continue to pray for you all and especially my work peeps at vandy. I know we left at a time when a lot of things were happening in the unit so know that I am always thinking of our little babies and my amaazzing coworkers!!! I miss your faces! Thanks for reading..love you all!

Caution reading this post!...We need prayers

This blog is a hard one to write and please note this is NOT normal for these patients. Last night was easily the worst night of my entire nursing career. Granted the circumstances are entirely different then what I normally work under. It was long, it was hard, it was sad, it was dirty, it was filled with complications, and it was exhausting. Our 62yo patient Duncan had an awesome night. He's a sweet, sweet man. Unfortunately, our second patient Roger (pronounced Rajay) did not make it through the night. He came back from the OR to our unit at 2am with a breathing tube(expected). His surgery was rather long but ended up relatively well and the surgeons felt he would have an ok night with your "normal" complications. Early on we had some pump malfunctions and had to give a lot of volume due to lack of ability to give blood pressure medicine through his pump. We quickly trouble shooted the pumps and got the Epi going. We celebrated a good blood pressure around 345; Mary even took a picture of us and Roger with his stellar BP. Around 4am he woke up and we asked if he was in pain. He noded his head no then fell back asleep. 

At 415 Kristen and I noticed his sats (oxygen levels) would not show up on the monitor and soon after his blood pressure stopped reading. The oxygen was gone...we couldn't find any in the entire hospital and he had severe pulmonary edema. We never got oxygen back. He was cold, his pulses were hardly palpable. Mary decided to give some epi to increase his BP. At this point his heart rate was always stable. After the epi bolus his heart began to trend down(that doesn't usually happen. His heart wanted O2). We had been bagging him continuously and he had massive pulmonary edema. His heart rate continued to drop and had no BP or sats. We started CPR. I, honestly, cannot tell you how much epi, calcium, bicarb, dopamine, magnesium, etc we gave. We even ran out of some of it. At this point we were calling every number we could find and we couldn't get a hold of anyone. No surgeons, no more doctors, no more nurses. We ended up shocking him twice with no resolve. 

While Mary was doing CPR and Kristen was pushing epi I ran out of the hospital to one of the surgeons houses to get him. He followed me to the pt and after an hour of CPR we opened his chest up. We began to give "internal cpr" and shot epi directly into his heart a couple times. An hour and a half passed and we had literally done everything possible; his heart was just too tired to come back. We called it around 530am. We were in shock and sad b/c Roger himself was a nurse in the Congo. He was part of our nursing family. Mary said pre-op he was very very happy and always smiling. She said he was so sweet and patient while waiting in the clinic. Because he is from the Congo they are unsure what to do with his body. They may bury it here on the hospital grounds. At this point I'm not sure how to feel. I'm humbled, I'm sad, I'm in shock, and I'm frustrated. So many things went wrong that would never ever happen back home. 

I'm so incredibly thankful for Kristen B. and Mary for being there and encouraging and instructing me. The team here is amazing and I couldn't ask for a better crew but sometimes it doesn't matter who the care givers are if you lack the resources. Today all surgeries are on hold. The team is shaken and as long as we are unsure of our oxygen situation we cannot risk another patients life. I'm sorry to bring you bad news but the team needs prayers and rest. Both our surgeons were up working for almost 24hrs yesterday and needing sleep. So just remember this, even though our health care systems is whacked out at least we have it! Be grateful for one another today! I love you all and miss you! 

Tenwek!

All the nurses with SOME of our bags. Each team member had 2 checked bags full of supplies/equiptment weighing about 50lbs! Then we each had 1-2 carry-ons for personal belongings. 

Part of the red light distract. I chose not to put any pics of nudity :)

Amsterdam Central train station or something like that..

Great Rift

The great rift! We drove right through it!

Some boys playing soccer. love it.

Some "shops" along the way to tenwek. 

Setting up our ICU

Kari stocking up our "nurse servers" with supplies.

After 18 hours on a plane, a quick day trip through Amsterdam, 2 plane dinners, 2 plane breakfast, a couple benadryls for sleep,  and a 4+ hr bus ride we have arrived safely to Tenwek hospital. We arrived here at 330pm (630am Nashville time) and lunch was ready and waiting. Then we unloaded our stuff and set up the Cardiac ICU. We had to bring all of our own supplies, monitors, echo machines, etc. So, we had a lot of work to do! While the nurses and BioMed(they fix or janky machines) guys set up the ICU the surgeons, perfusionists, and anesthesiologist set up the OR. Our Intensivist (Mary Taylor) worked up some patients for surgery in the clinic. After that we had a meeting to review our patients echocardiograms and presenting symptoms. Today we are doing 2 unexpected surgeries: a CABG and an aortic valve replacement and maybe some other stuff. Most of these surgeries will be valve related due to the large number of people who suffer from Rheumatic Heart Disease b/c they don't have accesss to penicillin.

I'll recap the last couple days for you up until our arrival to the hospital!

I mentioned the visit to Amsterdam...that was interesting. That is one place you do not want to take a wrong turn in. We had about an eight hour layover there so the nursing crew and one of our ICU docs hit the town. I make it sound easy but figuring out how to get out of the airport and purchase tickets proved to be the hard part of our day. Eventually, we jumped on a train and made it to Amsterdam Central within 20 minutes. That's when we accidentally took a right instead of a left. Apparently a right leads you to the red light district. I started to suspect it when I saw a red light in an alley...and then I was pretty certain when we passed an adult store...then I was positive when I saw women lacking clothing and men peeing in the streets. If you remove all the nudity and the many aromas it really was a gorgeous city. We later found out some people in our group visited the Anne Frank house and I was a little jealous. Anyway, we got to ride a double decker train back to the airport. We waited around a bit and played some games in the airport until we boarded around 9pm (3pm nash time).

I know many people, including everyone on our team, were concerned about our safety in Nairobi due to the recent events b/t Kenya and Somalia. We landed in Nairobi on Sunday by 830am (1130 nash time). While we were in Nairobi the military and police were very present and I never once felt threatened. The streets were covered with people and, fortunately, the traffic wasn't too terrible in the city. Nairobi was filled with big buildings next to small shacks and dump yards. People wandered through trash for basic necessities the way we wander through flea markets for antiques. I guess the saying "one man's trash is another mans treasure" is truly applicable here. As we headed out of the city we made a brief stop to take pictures of the great rift...then we drove through it! The African plains were endless and all we could think of were Lion King quotes and when Simba's father tells him that as far is he could see was his land...lots of land! No matter how far from the city we went we still saw people littering the streets. There were several small communities along the way with homes made of sticks, boards, aluminum, etc. I loved getting to see some young boys playing soccer in a dirt field! The ride eventually took us up through more hills to a more populated area and we had arrived at Tenwek Hospital.

Currently it is 1030pm and I'm sitting in the ICU. Kristen and I are covering tonight and we only have 1 patient. The other patient is still in the OR. The cool thing about this place is there's no HIPPAA! So, this guy is a 62 year old CABG (google it b/c I couldn't tell ya! We don't see this in babies!) He traveled about 150miles to get here for this surgery. The guy in the OR is getting an aortic replacement and mitral and tricuspid valvuloplasty...a big word for fixing it w/o replacing it. It sounds like there's been some minor complications but hopefully it's fixed before he rolls up into the ICU. We've got two Tenwek nurses working with us tonight so it has been fun teaching them. There baseline knowledge varies greatly. Some are more comfortable assessing patients and other are scared to even put a stethoscope in their ears. We shall teach them!! Someday they can do it all on their own...or at least that's the long term goal. We lack a lot of equitment here. We have 3 guys designated to trouble shooting and fixing machines, monitors, vents, etc. We are having to mix our own drips, meds, and even shot some liquid valium up a guys butt....and that is why I do babies :) We were scheduled to do surgery on a 19yo on thursday. His aortic valve was so severely damaged we were going to spend a couple days giving him diuretics to hopefully get him to the OR. Mary Taylor said he was severely symptomatic and wouldn't make it to 20yo and his operation would've been very risky. Today, he passed away. He had been admitted to get better treatment leading up to his surgery and he coded. It's hard to think there may have been something we could've done even just a week ago. Please keep his family in your prayers as him and his brothers were orphans and very close. Sorry to end on a sad note!

Sorry if this is scattered. I'm on and off the internet so I'm updating at all different times. I'm going to tend to my dude now; our other guy may be coming in soon. I'll hopefully be able to update each time I work! Thanks for your continued support and prayers!!! love you all!

God-incidence?

About 5 years ago I was at a crossroad. I was in college and so wrapped up in playing soccer I had forgotten I had to actually choose a major. It was the end of my sophomore year and I was confused, stressed, and asking anyone and everyone else what I should do with my life. One thing I knew for certain was I wanted my profession to be my ministry; I wanted to do missions, somehow. My mom kept telling me to do nursing and my good friend Emily was in school for it at UT. I saw how hard it was for someone as smart as her and pretty much counted myself out. Before I said no totally I decided to talk to God about it. Next thing I knew I found myself in the academic advisors office declaring "I want to be a nurse!...kind of. Really, just by default...God's making me." She went on to tell me I'd missed the deadline and all the classes/clinical schedules were already set...BUT if I had an essay into her office by 8am the following day she would meet with the admissions committee and consider accepting me late. Why? Who knows. I guess I looked desperate enough that day. So, I had my essay in at 7:55 am and later received a call I was ACCEPTED! There was no turning back now. She had gone out on a limb for me and this committee must've been in a good mood that day so that was it...I was starting school. First up: A&P I and II that summer at MTSU from 8-5 every.single.day. then I'd go to brentwood for soccer fitness/training. It was exhausting and I was not enthused about the situation, but God wouldn't let me stop. He'd gotten me that far. The next 2.5 years were full of studying, tests, clinicals, injuries, papers, illnesses, practices, surgeries, rehab, games, applications, interviews, etc...everyday I wanted to quit and everyday God reminded me He was my strength and He wouldn't have started me on this path if it wasn't His will for my life. I listened and I trusted, reluctantly.

Now, 5ish years later I'm a nurse, more specifically, I'm a Pediatric Cardiac Intensive Care Nurse. Whaaat? I've got my dream job even though I didn't know it was my dream job until I got it....I suppose God had an idea I'd enjoy it. As I went through school and then into my job the idea of mission work was always on my mind. My friend Jamie had gone to work at an orphange in Capetown, Africa while we were in school and after hearing about her experience I was set on Africa.

In June I got a facebook message from a couple co-workers asking myself and several others if we were interested in going on a medical mission trip to Kenya, Africa to do cardiac surgeries. My first thought? That sounds great, I've always wanted to buuuut I just can't. It'll be too hard, I'm not smart enough, I don't have enough money, and even though I've always wanted to I don't know if I can actually go through with it. So, I didn't apply. The deadline for the application passed. Then, late one night at work I was talking to my friend Kari who had applied. She worked me over. She showed me pictures of the previous trips and I immediately texted Kristen (NP in charge of going) if it was too late. Again, God extended the deadline for my indecisiveness. I turned in my application the following day thinking I'd officially decide if I'd go later once I was accepted or not. Then I got an email saying I was on the team and were leaving November 4th. I freaked out a little...then I got excited! Again, God knew if I had the opportunity to back out I would've peaced out asap. Touche, God, touche.

Now, after 4 months of preparation I'm about to jump on an 18hour plan ride and head to Kenya.  We have packed anything from soccer balls to toothbrushes to syringes to perfusion equipment into several large 50lbs bags to check. The airline is going to have their hands full with this group! I've packed up some personal items into two carry-ons...lets hope they like doing laundry over there! After 3 flights and one 4 hour ride we will arrive in Tenwek (near Bomat) on Sunday. Monday we will prepare for the first group of patients, teach some of the Tenwek Hospital nurses, and possibly have our first surgery. Tuesday through Friday is full of surgeries. The doctors and nurses will be pulling long shifts in the ICU with the patients and hopefully get just enough sleep in between working. Saturday some of us will be headed off on a safari and hot air balloon ride over the African planes! Trust, I'll have pics.

It's amazing to me to look back at this journey God has taken me on and has mapped out for me. Those were no coincidences; they were God-incidences! I never ever thought I would be a nurse. I never ever thought I'd actually get to go to Africa. I never ever thought God would provide me with finances. I never ever thought I'd receive the amazing amount of support that I have. Next time I say "never" I will be reminded of this time in my life when I truly realized anything is possible with the Lord as my Provider, Comforter, Father, and Motivator(among many things).

Hopefully I'm able to continue blogging while I am there. Please pray for this medical staff as we will endure long long days and remind us we are there to serve our God first and foremost. Pray for the surgeons as they operate on these little hearts, the doctors as the make critical decisions for their care, the perfusionists as they work with our most vital piece of equipment, the nurses as they care for the patients post operatively, and pray our patients have a quick recovery!


THANK YOU for loving me and supporting me. Love you!!