Proceed with Caution!

Recently I experienced a "first time" at work. This, honestly, was one of those "first times" I prayed would never come to pass, but it came, and it came hard. You know how when you have not-so-ideal news to share with someone so you just kind of beat around the bush with small conversation hoping for that right opportunity to come up so you can just ease on into it? Then that opportunity never actually comes so you just have to flat out say it? Well, that's what I'm doing. So, this is me flat out saying it: I had my first patient die. It was a baby. She was so precious. I've always thought I'd be tough; whatever happens happens and you move on. It's what I signed up for, right? eh. Not so much. Yes, working in the ICU I knew that death was something I'd be faced with on a daily basis, but being a part of this situation is far different from simply imagining how I'd react to losing a patient. This is not to say I don't love my job b/c I truly do. I couldn't imagine being anywhere else. However, I'm human. It's sad and it's hard no matter how many times you have experienced it. Needless to say, this left me with lots of questions. Not just medically what went wrong but on a spiritual level...on an eternal level.

My question for the longest time has been: do babies/children go to heaven? Google that. It will infuriate you one second then having you rejoicing the next, but the fact of the matter is we must turn to God's word. The Bible is the only truth--not what some random person decided to post on the dotcom one day. It's interesting though, even if I'd never opened the bible I would know, just looking at this baby, she was with Jesus...so sweet and peaceful. I was overcome with a sense of this is where she was supposed to be. I felt like baby was being held in our Father's arms that very moment. I stood there holding baby in my own arms all alone in the room and cried a little. I cried b/c I was sad she ever had to live through pain and I cried b/c she no longer had to. Instead, she was healed in heaven. After I was done with everything my charge nurse let me leave work early that night, around 345am, b/c it had been an exhausting night. On my way home I couldn't help but think of all the times when I was younger that I'd have a bad dream and run into my parents bed to snuggle between the two of them. I resisted the urge to do so and headed back to my condo.

The bible says "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16. So, whoever believes in Jesus Christ will go to heaven. What about those who've never even heard of Jesus? Well, it also goes on to say in Romans 1:20 "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities--his eternal power and divine nature--have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse." Basically saying that if you're living in this world you're witnessing His creation so you have no excuse but to believe in Him. So what about those babies who are too young and lack the mental capacity to comprehend salvation? Too young to understand that the world they live in was created by a Higher Power? Welp, friends, our God may be a just God but He is also very merciful. 


Read on to Deuteronomy 1:39 "And the little ones that you said would be taken captive, your children who do not yet know good from bad--they will enter the land. I will give it to them and they will take possession of it." I realize there are several verses that say no matter what we are born sinful (Romans 5:12) but I also know that in order to be saved or condemned we will be faced with a decision the day we encounter Jesus Christ. Do we accept and believe that He died for us or do we reject this truth? God will condemn those who reject Him,  right? But as a baby you are not capable of making such a decision. All in all my belief is that this sweet baby, along with the rest that we lose too soon, is resting peacefully in Heaven. 

Lastly, I read about a sermon where the pastor said "God does not call innocent children to heaven. That comes from circumstances brought about by the earth. But He is there to welcome them with open arms." That quote is pretty comforting. I actually heard that long before this happened but it was kind of like God had it stashed in my back pocket for that night b/c he knew I'd need it. 

I know this post is kind of a lot and I probably make no sense, but if you take nothing from it I just ask that you pray for this family who lost a daughter, granddaughter, niece, cousin, loved one...Also, please pray for those involved in her care. I know that where I work this happens somewhat often but it goes unspoken on the unit and I can't help but worry about what my co-workers take away from all this. Ok, I'm donezo. Keep it reals...Thanks for readdinngg!!! love you!!